The Super Bowl Gift Few Wanted—Remembering Bob Kraft’s 50-Year-Old Cigars

You know, you'd imagine that Super Bowl winners, even if they're not big cigar fans, would smoke an outrageously rare and fine cigar when presented with one by their billionaire team owner, right?

Think again.

In 2019, reporters saw Bob Kraft bring in a custom Patriots humidor and unveil 50-year-old cigars, thought to be a posthumous gift from José Orlando Padrón, founder of Padrón Cigars. Instead of a run on the box and the general pushing and shoving, football players are known so well for, players seemed fairly uninterested. Super Bowl MVP Julian Edelman accepted his gratefully, but other players were too tied up doing whatever Super Bowl winners do in the locker room after the dust has settled.

Perhaps all those health nut athletes are hardcore nonsmokers? One player said he has asthma, which we can understand. But even super goody-goodies can surely have a few puffs, right?

Right?

Well, not Tom Brady. He's known for his ultra-strict health regimen. No alcohol, no bread, and pasta with gluten, no dairy, no high-fructose corn syrup, trans fats, sugar, artificial sweeteners, soy, fruit juice, cooking oils... yadda yadda yadda...

What's left for him to eat? Well, plants. And protein. That's about it. But what does he know? He's only the greatest player of all time with freakish good health and longevity. 

Oh well. Maybe more players picked them up after the cameras left (video here). They're surely drowning in rewards of one kind or another at the moment. Reporters noted that a bodyguard took over handing out the cigars but was turned down by a few people, still.

Let that be a lesson to you: even if you're a literal billionaire, there's still the possibility that your outlandishly amazing gift will flop.

The rest of us don't stand a chance, honestly.

And Mr. Kraft, if there's any leftover after all this time, we'd be happy to try what is likely to be one of the finest cigars on the planet.

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